Never Meant To Be
by Raeburns3
Summary: For some people - it was never meant to be. Jacob and Bella's divorce doesn't do as much good as the previous lovers had hoped. But it's years later and things have changed now. Is there hope in saving their lost relationship, all these years later?
1. Prologue

**Just a little idea I had and i'd like to see if you Jake and Bella fans out there liked it.**

**If i get lots of response then i will continue, but who knows? Let me know :)**

**WARNING: Contains ANGST, DRAMA, HURT, ROMANCE, VIOLENCE AND LEMONS! **

**(So if its too strong for you, then go somewhere else. Just dont review me telling me you hate it, cause that just downright annoying)**

**HAPPY READING.**

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**Prologue**

There are many times when you fall _in_ love.

When you see that person and you just know that _he's the one_. He's the one you want to share your first kiss with. The one to make love to you for the first time. The one you'll marry one day and have tons of babies with.

The one you'll share your future with…

But there are times when you fall _out_ of love too.

It gets to the point where you start to question your very first intentions._ Did I really want to marry him? Did I really see our future?_

_Did I even love him?_

When Bella met Jake in high school there was no doubt in her mind that he _was_ the one. She loved him unconditionally and irrevocably and he loved her in return. They were a match made in heaven. Or in rainy Washington. Secretly knowing each other through their parents all their lives, but she only really saw him in high school - and he _her_. It wasn't all love at first. They became the best of friends. Despite Jake being captain of the football team and Bella being library keeper - they managed to find a way to bond in and out of school, whether it be Bella helping him with homework on her living room floor or Jake teaching her to catch a football properly on La Push beach their relationship broke the barriers of friendship and turned into something much more. Something serious that neither of them were really prepared for, but were all too willing to take that leap.

To their parents, it only seemed natural that Bella and Jake would end up together and that they'd be _happy_.

Their relationship was exactly that.

It _was_ natural. There was no effort to being _Jake and Bells_, it was like gravity - as easy as breathing.

They moved into a beautiful little refurbished two bedroom beach house only a year after graduation and married two years later - just a small private ceremony right on First Beach in front of our house. It was exactly how they wanted it. Bella wore a simple, strapless white dress and bare feet whilst Jake wore shorts and a t-shirt and a big fat grin plastered on his face. Their family and close friends watched as they exchanged vows by the Pacific Ocean, exchanging simple but beautiful rings with the tide washing over their bare feet.

Life after that was just as good. Maybe even better.

Bella found no reason to head off to some other state for college as she opened up her own small bakery with the inventive title 'Bella's Buns' in the heart of Port Angeles which turned out to be more successful that she had ever imagined.

It kept her busy while Jake was at work with his friends at his own business - Black's Automobile Repair Shop in between Fork and La Push. He didn't pursue anything in the football area like everyone had thought he might have. And the reason as to why, started the first of many arguments which would conceivably tear them apart.

They just wished they had know then.

"What do you mean, '_It's because of you_'? How is it because of me Jake? I never told you to stop playing football. To stop something you love!" It was late and Bella and Jake were both tired from working which was hardly helping the situation.

He sighed angrily and shoved himself out of his seat, picking up his empty plate of dinner and throwing it into the sink, "I didn't mean it that way Bella. I was just saying that I didn't want to go and take my scholarship because I didn't want to leave you…"

"You got a scholarship?" She screamed, also standing from her chair, "Why the hell didn't you tell me Jacob? We're married for fuck sake! Your meant to tell me these things!"

"Yeah. Well we weren't married _then_ were we?" He snapped back.

That was the first time Bella had felt sadness around her sun.

"So…you think that just because we weren't married…that you cant tell me anything?" She whispered, "I loved you _before_ we were married Jake. I trusted you. Don't you think you could have trusted me back then too?"

He sighed again - but this time it seemed _pained_, "Of course I did. I just, I felt like you would take the blame and that you would want me to go. And we would have been so far away from each other, that it would have to take a plane journey to see each other - and neither of us could afford that back then. And I could just _picture_ in my mind that it would be one of those 'Dear John' moments. I'd come back home and you'd be with someone else and I would have beaten myself up _forever_ knowing that if I had just stayed here with you then I would have never lost you." He swallowed thickly, not meeting her gaze.

"I would have always been waiting Jake. Don't ever forget that okay? I just…I just want you to be happy. And if you were happy half way across the country from me, then _I _would have been happy with that," She sighed, reaching out for him the same time he took her into his strong arms, enveloping Bella into his heat.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, touching her cool lips to his chest.

He squeezed her tighter, "Me too."

But from then on things started to change.

Work seemed to tire Jake out more than ever and resulted in him turning to a bottle of Jack instead of his waiting wife. He would arrive home hours past dinner and Bella would be forced to wrap his home cooked plate up in cellophane and leave it on the side before retiring to their cold bed.

Bella was always awake when he came in though. Sometimes she could hear him with Embry and Paul - his two work colleagues - being rowdy in the kitchen and raiding the beer in their fridge. Sometimes he would just turn on the TV and fall asleep on the couch.

And sometimes, it was a little different.

Bella listened to the staggering creek of the floorboards as Jake made his way down the hall towards their bedroom. He opened the bedroom door _not so quietly_ and proceeded to undress in the dark at the bottom of their bed - she listened to the rustle as his t-shirt hit the floor and the clank of his belt as he dropped his jeans to the floor. No doubt something else she would have to clean up in the morning.

The bed groaned under his weight as he crawled into bed beside Bella. This time he didn't stay on his side of the bed. He scooted right up to her cold back - his large warm hand that her body seemed to always welcome, slid round Bella's ribcage to her silk covered breast which he squeezed and massaged.

She squinted her eyes shut tighter - not liking the way her body reacted to his touch when she was _supposed _to be angry at him - as his warm lips kissed their way up the back of Bella's neck to behind her small ear where he played with her lobe with his sweet tongue.

He squeezed her breast again before trailing his hand down her curves and to her plump backside where he groped Bella's cheek erotically before continuing down to the hem of her nightdress and hitching the dress around her hips as he pressed his need into her from behind.

"Bella," he mumbled into her ear - he had been drinking a lot. Bella could taste the liquor on her tongue.

His long, strong fingers brushed the edge of her panties and started working them over her ass - and for a brief moment, Bella horrifyingly wondered if he would have sex with her against her will.

"I know your awake," he groaned into her ear, thrusting his erection into Bella's backside a little more deliberately.

She swallowed and reached down to stop his hand from pulling her panties completely down, "What are you doing Jacob?"

"I want you." He groaned again, "I need you baby. Let me give you pleasure," his alcohol smelling breath washed over her face, "Let me turn your world upside down."

Bella rolled over towards him as he in turn rolled on top of her - she watched his glassy dark eyes with the utmost sadness. She couldn't let this go on. She couldn't let her life go on like this.

Talking was out of the question - because they _never_ had time to talk. He was either at work or drunk and there was no point in trying to work something out on either of those accounts.

As he kissed her sloppily and chastely, she realised this was the point where Jake and Bells _were no more_. She started to question her love for him - which was something she had never had to do before. _Of course _she loved him, and would _always_ love him. But nothing was the same. They had grown into two different people - _he_ had grown into a different person.

Not entirely realising what they had condemned their relationship to at that moment, Bella wrapped her legs around his warm, lithe body and let him do what he wanted.

He kissed her, and she kissed him back before he thrust roughly into Bella with his drunken motive. She gave the remainder of what she had left in her to him at that moment.

Little did he know - it was the last time he would hold her in his arms.

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The divorce was brutal for both of them.

Neither of them really wanted to get divorced - but it was better than staying together and going no where. It wasn't like they stopped talking completely like some couples, it was _much worse_. They argued. And argued, and argued. Just the presence of one another would make them argue. Bella would scream at Jacob for him to stop shouting and then he would end up having to shout over her and in the end they would both dissolve in tears and actually _agree_ that a divorce was what they needed.

Their families were distraught and did everything possible to get them back together, but it was far too late. Jake was a _changed _man. And Bella was a _changing _woman. If maybe Jake changed his ways - who knows? Maybe Bella _would_ go back to him.

_Of course she would go back to him._

But catching a glimpse of his hardened face that final day in court as they watched each other go their separate ways - she hoped this was the last time.

But like many things in her life - _she was wrong_.

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	2. The Years that Pass

**THIS IS A FILLER CHAPTER.**

**So basically dont get too excited.**

**Jacob WILL be in the next chapter though! (And then the drama can commence!)**

**Warning: this chapter contains language, sad stuff and Edward Cullen. SO for all you Eddie haters, keep a poster of his beside you so you can punch it frequently.**

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Five years down the road, and to say the _least_, things had changed.

After the split, Bella relocated to Los Angeles. Not her type at all, but it was different and different back then was the best she could get. She didn't want to live with constant reminders of Jacob. She wanted to be free of those happy and painful memories. Free to do what she wanted.

Of course there were those times when she would look at a piece of driftwood on the beach and not help but think how much that looked like _their_ piece of driftwood they used to snuggle up on in front of the campfire.

But she just had to suck it up and deal with it like a big girl. This was _her_ decision, and she would have to live with the consequences.

Nothing would change the fact that she still thought about him.

She wondered what he was doing when she woke up and just before she went sleep in her empty bed. She wondered if he _had_ changed his ways. That he had turned back into that sweet, gentle, happy Jacob that everyone knew and loved. Or maybe he was still relying on a bottle of Jack to keep him satisfied. Bella could only guess at that point.

But as the days slowly dragged by, Bella found herself _changing_.

Not like _Jacob's_ changing - no, she was still the same gentle, self sufficient woman she had always been. It was _body_ that started to change.

Bella found herself occasionally waking up throughout the night with the same awful twist in her stomach forcing her to sprint to the bathroom of her tiny apartment, plunging her face into the toilet just in the nick of time.

She found it was harder to do things like she used to. She was currently looking for a job and she found that she was so exhausted all the time she just couldn't put in the effort. So she took a trip to the Doctor's where she was told news that would conceivably change her life forever.

She was pregnant.

With Jacob's baby.

There was no doubt in her mind that it was _his_ baby. Who else was there? But Bella was confused as to _how_ she could have become pregnant, they had always taken use of birth control (well, he had) and the last time they had sex couldn't have been long ago, considering she wasn't _that_ pregnant.

With a vivid flashback, Bella remembered that time her came home drunk from work and seduced her. She knew back then that it wasn't working out, because that had been the last time they had had sex. She remembered how rough he had been with her. He had never been rough before like this. It was all about dominating for him then, which was all due to that liquor that still lingered in his system, for Bella had always been Jacob's equal when it came to the bed.

She also remembered that he hadn't used a condom.

And now she was pregnant, with this mans baby who she was divorced to and definitely not on speaking terms with.

What an absolute clusterfuck.

What was she to do? Abort it? Give it up for adoption? She was only twenty-one, with no potential family support around her. It wasn't like she could just go home to her parents and live in hiding from Jacob and the rest of the population of Forks and La Push.

But when she got home that night, Bella went and stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at her stomach (she couldn't work out if she looked pregnant or not, she had put on a few pounds since the divorce.)

She stared at her stomach and thought, _that baby in there is mine. It's my baby. Mine and Jacob's baby. A baby that will come out half me and half Jake. Every time I'll look at her or him, I'll be able to seen the love I had for him._

That was the deal breaker right there. And Bella decided to keep the baby and raise her on her own.

The first month was hard. Bella had to throw herself into job hunting with a little more force than she wanted due to the fact most employers wouldn't want her to work for them if she had a massive baby belly (which for the record, she wasn't looking forward to). But with the right calls and visits, she managed to snag the job as a secretary of a publishing firm in the city. It wasn't as well paid as she had hoped at first, but the busy workers enjoyed her company so much they ended up giving her little odd jobs to do for them whenever she was free with a little extra cash on the side. (But with the prospect of a baby on the way and Bella becoming more and more tired everyday, she thought the roles should be reversed.)

Bella wasn't too sure if doing the odd jobs on the side were worth getting a bollocking from the manager - or if the manager was worth doing the odd jobs to get the bollocking.

Edward Cullen was livid to find that his employees had been secretly using the firms secretary for personal jobs when they all _knew _that he had been scouring for a new PA for months. Despite Bella working under his hand, she had never met the infamous 'Edward Cullen' and he her, so she was a little surprised when she instead of coming face to face with a dragon about to tear her throat out. She was met with perfect bronze, tousled locks, emerald eyes and a crooked smile.

Edward was just that _little_ bit more pissed off that his employees had been keeping this _woman_ from him!

But that was how it started anyway.

The days flew past as Bella found _life_ more and more enjoyable to live now that she was actually earning some _decent_ money working as Edward's PA - she still hadn't told anyone of her pregnancy, covering her small distended stomach up with flowing and figureless tops and of course she was missing her mom and dad and…_him_ - especially at this point of time in her life but she couldn't tell them for they would surely come looking for her to give her support (well her parents would) so she just kept in contact with her parents over the phone constantly. Just without the…_contact_.

Bella did find it a little awkward working around Edward to much under such close quarters and scrutiny. She found it a little odd that she was making mistakes all the time - bringing the wrong coffee and printing out the wrong sheets - but Edward just seemed to take it in all good grace, flashing her his trademark smile (admittedly not as handsome as _his_) and giving her a too-touchy feely rub of the back or squeeze of the wrist.

So it wasn't really a surprise to her when he asked her out for dinner.

But Bella felt torn. As if she was betraying Jacob by going out with Edward. And betraying Edward by going out with him the same time she was carrying her ex-husband's baby.

So she told him everything.

"Edward I used to be married." She blurted out across the dinner table of the very expensive restaurant they sat in.

He just chuckled, "As long as your not still married."

"No…but I'm pregnant."

Bella noticed he did choke a little on his food when she mentioned this.

"Is it mine?"

"Of course not. What kind of question is that?"

He smiled, "Just checking."

"It's my ex-husbands. And I'm keeping it."

"Good for you."

Bella couldn't help but gape at him, "I just told you I'm pregnant with someone else's baby and keeping it and you still sit here?"

His eyes sparkled as he reached across the table and took Bella's hands in his own, "That doesn't change who you are Bella. This," he squeezed her hands, "Is the person I like. I really do like you Bella. And I like kids as well, so you don't have to worry about that." He kissed the back of her hand sweetly and winked.

If Bella had wanted to shake him off at any point, it wasn't looking so great.

But she couldn't help but think, wasn't this what she wanted? She wanted someone to talk to about everything. She wanted someone to take care of her and support her like Jacob had. She may not have loved Edward, but she needed him like a drug. Not the same as Jacob. She didn't crave Jacob like she did Edward - but she loved him and that was the big difference.

Before Bella got too big and exploded, Edward asked her to move in with him into his penthouse suite and she agreed.

And then, three days before Christmas, Bella went into labour. A gruesome, twenty-four hour labour that gave her a tiny baby _daughter_.

The first time Bella held her child in her arms, she couldn't help but burst into tears. It was like staring at Jacob all over again. There were parts of Bella in her child's features, like her heart shaped face and her rosy cheeks and soft pouty lips, but it was the eyes. Those dark, onyx, eyes that stared up at Bella that caused her to sob whilst holding her child.

They were Jacob's eyes.

Bella pressed her first kiss onto her tiny daughter's bronze forehead - her skin tone just a little lighter than Jacob's - and inhaled the sweet scent on her skin and black wisps of hair that lay a top of her head.

"Your such a beautiful girl," Bella crooned, nuzzling her nose against her daughter's plump cheek, feeling the gentle touch of her baby girl's long thick black eyelashes brushed against her skin.

Bella named her Leah.

Leah Black.

After finally being discharged from hospital, her new baby girl by her side (who Edward adored already) Bella went straight home and phoned her parents.

She told them everything.

Bella was surprised when they didn't shout at her, but she thought that it might have been due to the fact that she told them it was Jacob's baby. They did seem a little miffed at the fact that Bella was now living with someone else - apart from Jacob - and turned furious in seconds when she told them that they could not utter a word to anyone.

Especially him.

"Isabella, that is _his_ child as much as yours that you just gave birth to! He has the right to know!" He father bellowed down the line.

"Char- I mean, dad. With all due respect, I was the one who pushed this baby out _alone_. This wasn't how I wanted to have my first child. I wanted to be surrounded by family who would support me, but I knew I couldn't do that because I cant trust you to keep your word! I know how much Jacob means to you, but I'm your daughter and you should be siding with _me_. I'm telling you this now because I need you. I need my family to support me. My wishes are for Jacob or anyone else not to find out about this just yet, because I need time to tell people myself. I just want you guys to be my parents. To be Leah's grandparents."

"Oh honey, we've always trusted you," her mother's voice floated down the receiver, "Just don't leave it too long okay? We want to at least see some pictures of our first grandchild."

"And we wont tell anyone. Your our daughter Bells, and you'll always come first," her dad gruffly added. He had never been good with expressing himself. Just like Bella.

But that was five years ago.

Bella watched day by day as her beautiful baby grew into the sweet child she was today. Edward stayed by Bella's side the whole time and could have easily grown to be Leah's father, but Bella wouldn't have it. She just couldn't live with herself if she let Leah call Edward 'daddy' when he clearly wasn't. That was betraying Jacob in its truest form and Edward understood that and stuck with being called 'Uncle Eddie' though Leah questioned them often in her high tinkling voice that she was sure uncles and mommies didn't kiss in other families. She asked frequently where her daddy was, but Bella just kissed her on her forehead and told her she would 'see him soon.'

Bella didn't know the literal truth of her words back then.

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**Thank you x**


	3. For the First Time

**Please read.**

**So, I hope this chapter explain a few things to you guys and I hope i didnt make it too bad - but please feel free to suggest any improvement in a review!**

**But i would just like to say a couple of things first:**

**I know it may seem unrealistic to some, but events like these DO happen and it's not all bull because i have seem people go through shit like this. So a woman keeping her child a secret from the father DOES happen - because i was that child once okay? I've lived through all kinds of arguements, and I thought i would like to write about it using two of my favourite characters to see what other people think.**

**I dont give a flying fuck if this makes you feel ill and disturbed, because there are worse things than this that happen in the world and this is ONLY A WORK OF FICTION.**

**I dont mind if you want to sugges improvements, but anything else, I dont really care about okay?**

**(This is not aimed at all you reviewers!)**

**ANYHOO - i hope you enjoy this freaking long chapter and leave me some love at the end!**

"Do we really have to do this?" Bella asked Edward for the thirtieth time, as she watched her partner neatly lay items of clothing in their shared suitcase.

Edward just sighed, zipped the case closed and turned to Bella, "Yes, love. We _do_. Well, I do. This is fundraiser is extremely important for the business and _all_ the employees have been invited from _every_ branch across the country. That includes _you_."

Bella groaned and threw herself childishly back onto the bed seeking comfort in the soft duvet seeing feeling the most awkward and nervousness than she had felt before that moment.

Sure, the business had hosted many of these fundraisers over the years that Bella had worked there - and they were always successful in raising money.

Bella just wasn't so sure this one would be so successful.

Not to be mistaken that the actual event wouldn't run smoothly, because everyone who was going _knew_ it would for sure. Just being that the fundraiser this year was being held in Port Angeles, just an hour drive from where her _family_ lived and also something she had let slip when she was on the phone to her parents the other week.

"So, how have you been Bells?" He dad asked over the phone.

"Okay, I guess. Just rushed off my feet at the moment at work. We've got another one of those fundraisers next week in Port Angeles and its needed so much more preparation than the others…"

"_Port Angeles_?"

Whilst silently cursing under her breath, Bella mentally punched herself repeatedly in the face.

"Well, that's brilliant kiddo!" He father crowed before she could get a word in, "Why don't you stay for a week with your mother and I? Jesus Bells, we've missed you so much. Last time we saw you was Christmas when we came up to visit. I bet Leah's grown loads now…We haven't seen her in such a long time."

And Bella couldn't refuse. Who was she to deprive her own parents of seeing her?

But just the thought of that branched onto the bigger and more important topic of herself depriving Jacob of seeing his daughter.

The thought stuck with her every single day.

_How could she have done that to him?_

Of course she wanted to. She _alway_s imagined the possibilities of turning up on her and Jacob's front porch step - that was if he still lived there - with Leah clutched to her body to _explain_.

Explain why she didn't tell him. Make him understand the reasons which kept her from coming home to him. Beg for his forgiveness.

And she would have done just that had it not been for the information her father passed onto her the first time she asked of her old sweetheart just two years after their split.

"So…how, um, how's Jacob doing these days?" Bella forced out before clearing her throat.

"Oh, er…" Charlie was completely floored by his daughters question, and so he should be. This was the first time she had asked of him since she had left.

"Is he okay?" Bella started to worry at her dad's lack of speech. She recalled telling her parents not to talk of Jacob to her before, but if something had seriously happened to him, they wouldn't have _really_ kept it from her, would they?

Her father cleared his throat as well, "Yeah, um, Jake's fine. He's still got the business running good over these past couple years. _Y'know_, to take his mind off of things," _very subtle Charlie_, "He's been awfully lonely in that house of _yours_," Bella instantly regretted the decision of asking her father a question she knew he would go into unnecessary detail about, "Mind you, he hasn't been as lonely as _before_. He's got something going on with one of his clients - wouldn't really call it _little_ though…-"

Bella cut her father off of his verbal vomit, the same time her stomach turned to stone, "_He's dating_?" She hadn't meant it to come out as such a shocked screech, knowing it would give off all the wrong messages and also considering that she had absolutely _no right_ as to ask if Jacob was dating. It was to be expected by everyone. Bella was constantly jealous of other girls at high school that wanted a little piece of Jacob, and if anything, she was surprised he hadn't been making his way through all of the girls in the La Push and Fork vicinity.

But he had always been a one woman guy.

Bella would know.

Despite her fears of sounding like the ex-wife still hung over Jacob, her father continued to turn Bella's life to shit without even realising it.

"…well, I wouldn't really call it dating. I mean, they're living together now. Only since a couple of months ago though. I don't even think Jake asked her. I think she asked _him_…"

"So, Jacob moved in with her?"

There was an awkward pause, "Not _exactly_. She kinda asked to move into _his_-er, _your_ house with him. The one on the beach."

There was another woman living with Jake in _Bella and Jake's_ house.

Bella felt numb as her legs collapsed from underneath her and she fell down onto the sofa with the phone still pressed to her ear. Her mouth was agape, but she couldn't think of anything to say.

What was there to say?

There was hitting below the belt, and then there was _this_.

Did Jacob not have any decency in keeping _their_ house as theirs? It wasn't like he bought it for her or anything. The money that went to their beautiful little home on First Beach came from both of their accounts. _Both_ of their hard earned money.

Bella was flooded with anger, hurt, envying emotions. But if anything, she felt cheated by Jacob's actions. She understood the whole 'dating thing', that was none of her business. She had Edward and for that, she was thankful.

But to let another woman sleep in the bed she had previously shared, made love and coincidently made a baby in with Jacob was just a blow that did nothing to encourage Bella's thoughts on bringing their toddling daughter to visit him.

The scenario of Bella turning up on _'their'_ front porch step changing vividly in the matter of seconds. It wasn't Jacob who answered the door this time with an elated surprised expression on his handsome face. No, this time it was a dark haired beauty that answered _their_ door. Bella could see Jacob - just hovering in the background. His face was expressionless - and if anything, twisted into a sneer - as he stared down at his ex-wife and child. Bella watched as Jacob wound his strong arms around his new lover's waist, pulling her back into their house and into his embrace - not bothering to cast one single glance at Bella as he slammed the door shut on her and his baby girl's faces.

Bella could just see it happening now…

_But you have Edward. You have Leah all to yourself. You've taken away the opportunity for Jacob to watch his child grow, _her conscience reminded her softly.

But it didn't matter. And why would he care anyway? He was probably to busy fucking that other woman on their bed.

Bella just couldn't think of a single sensible thought after that. She couldn't think of how what she was doing herself was even worse than what Jacob had done to her.

Jacob had betrayed her and without completely realising it in her heart she betrayed Jacob in return.

She tried to overcome this obstacle, to think of a way to make this work out without either of them getting too hurt, but it seemed inevitable to Bella and she would continue to put it off until she thought of a better solution and the longer she left it, the less she wanted to turn up on Jacob's doorstep to face the probable rejection.

So as the selfish woman she had turned into over the years - Bella did nothing.

And if they had never crossed paths in their lives again, it would have worked out fine.

But Bella was shit out of luck.

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"Momma," Leah cried, bounding into Bella and Edward's bedroom, "I packed for grampa and grammies!" She showed off her over flowing Barbie suitcase proudly.

"That's great sweetheart," Bella knew she would have to re-pack with _necessary_ items in a moment, "Are you excited about going to see them?"

"Yep!" She clambered up onto Bella's lap and wound her golden, skinny arms around her neck.

"But we've got to do something before we see them, don't we Lee?" Edward asked gently.

"We do. We got to go to a party for work!"

Edward chuckled and placed a tender kiss on her forehead, "That's close enough for me."

Twenty minutes and three re-packings later, they left for LAX Airport to catch the afternoon flight to Port Angeles for the fundraiser that evening.

Bella lost herself in her daughter's excited antics the whole way there. She didn't want to think about how the plane she sat on was bringing her closer and closer to her former life. To her former lover and his _new lover_. She tried to be excited that she was going to be seeing her parents for the first time in months, and that she could show her baby girl the place where Bella grew up when she was her age.

But as always, every time she gazed upon her daughter, Jacob's eyes would stare back at her, and she would lose her train of thought again.

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"Are there going to be other people like me here?" Leah asked she Bella brushed her long, silky ebony hair into two plaits as she sat on the sink countertop of the women's bathroom of the fundraiser event.

"Of course there will be. I think James is going to be coming because his mommy and daddy are and I know you like James." Bella smiled and kissed Leah's head the same time Leah huffed in annoyance.

"I don't like James. I like Oliver." Leah rolled her beautiful almond shaped eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Bella laughed and put her hands up in mock apology, "Gosh, I'm sorry!"

Leah eyed her mother speculatively before grinning her fathers grin and throwing herself into Bella's arms, pressing her delicate face to Bella's breast.

"I love you mama."

Bella closed her eyes and cradled her daughter closer to her chest, wishing she could keep her in her arms forever, "I love you more sweetheart."

Leah was just a child, but as her mother clutched her to her breast she couldn't help but tighten her hold on her too. Her mommy loved her lots but not as much as she loved her. Leah decided then that she would never leave her mommy. Not for some yucky boy - not even for Oliver. When she turned into a big girl, she would find her daddy and bring him back for her mommy and they would all live happily together with Uncle Eddie.

Bella decided that they must have been wrapped up in the same embrace for longer than she thought as Edward came into the women's bathroom in search of them.

"There you guys are," Edward sighed in relief, "The meal is about to start guys and everyone's starting to sit down now. Come on," Edward scooped Leah off of the edge of the sink and placed her on his hip before taking Bella's hand in his and leading them out of the bathroom and into noisy and bustling room filled with circular, neatly laid tables.

Bella and Leah took their seats on one of the head tables, sitting with Edward - considering that he was the manager of the largest of the companies firms across the country.

Bella felt awkward and out of place in the vast room full of - mostly snotty - people and didn't bother trying to make conversation with anyone else on her table who paid her no attention.

Bella suggested that her and Leah played 'eye-spy' until the food came and Leah all too happily agreed.

"Hey, Bella. Before I go up to the speech, I'd like to re-introduce my co-manager who used to work with me in LA, but moved over here to work for the company," Edward appeared out of the crowds with a model-esque woman on his arm, "This is Lauren."

Bella plastered a smile onto her face as she recalled the blonde woman that stood before her, "Hi Lauren. We met before when you worked in LA."

Lauren nodded slowly, "Yes. We did." She grasped Bella's outstretched dry hand in her delicate supple one once in a 'so called handshake' before releasing it.

Yep. She was definitely the epitome of 'the snotty people'.

Be in all honesty, Bella didn't give one shit. There was no point in wasting her time with people who didn't want to waste their time with her and by the way Lauren gazed lazily around the room under her false eyelashes (Bella wondered how she could see) she could have been royalty for all Bella cared and nothing would have changed the way Bella felt about her.

Edward sensed the sudden awkwardness and moved onto a different topic, "And this little bundle of joy is Leah. Bella's little girl." He introduced Leah to Lauren around Bella.

If it had been anyone else, Lauren would have had no problem in displaying her dislike for the child before her, but it was Edward. _The_ Edward Cullen. So she fought the displeased look from her face and forced a rare smile.

"Nice to meet you little girl," Lauren patted Leah promptly on the head, which she shrank away from, gripping onto her mother tighter.

Lauren didn't even care that she had intimidated Leah, but Bella did and she had no difficulty in showing her protectiveness of her child, but Edward read Bella like a book from the first second and found himself jumping into the situation again.

"Why don't you sit down Lauren?" Edward quickly went to pull out a chair at the table.

"No, I'm fine thank you Edward," Bella felt her eyes narrow at the low, seductiveness in her nasally voice, "I wont be eating with you."

"Oh, well then-"

"-it was nice to meet you again." Bella finished sharply and took her seat again, turning all her attention on her daughter who still regarded the blond woman behind her with a hint of fear.

After the first course had been cleared away, Edward went up onto the stage alongside the owner of the company and the chief of the fundraiser to make their speech of gratitude as they did for every fundraiser they held.

Bella zoned out mostly, thinking about how things would take their course for the next days to come when she resided with her parents. She wasn't sure what Edward would do - probably work, but she didn't really mind. As long as it didn't involve dragging her out anywhere in the open.

The rest of the meal passed relatively quickly and as soon as dessert was finished, Leah hurriedly pleaded that she could be let down because she just saw Oliver across the room.

Bella wiped her chocolate smeared mouth with her napkin and let her down, excusing herself from Edward so as she could go and linger in the area of where Leah would be playing to keep and eye on her.

Luckily for Bella, Oliver seemed to have dragged Leah into a little Wendy House in the corner of the room, which was occupied as the crèche and continued to play 'families' inside, so Bella made her way quickly over to the bar where she was handed an overtly expensive flute of Champagne by the bartender.

She didn't even get a choice in drink, the snobby bastards.

Bella swallowed half of the flute in one sip and set out on finding Edward to let him know that she would be taking Leah back to the hotel room soon. Despite the meal being finished only half an hour ago, it was already nine-thirty and way past Leah's bed time. So she picked her way through the groups of chattering people and across the dance floor where the first song had just started, to where she could see Edward.

But a husky voice stopped her.

A very recognizable husky voice, that caused her heart to sputter the same time she had to resist the urge to vomit.

"Bella?"

She closed her eyes and blinked back the tears - yep, this was definitely one of those _realistic_ daydreams she was getting again. So she knocked back the rest of her drink and carried on.

A warm, calloused hand took hold of her upper arm and Bella whirled towards the direction of the voice with a choked gasp.

Leah's father's eyes stared down into her own.

Jacob Black.

"Oh…" Bella squeaked, not coherent enough to say anything else she gazed desperately upon her ex-husband.

Had she expected a change in appearance? No, not at all. And everything about Jacob screamed _the same_. Same cropped midnight locks, same russet glowing skin, same deep dark eyes and rough, yet warm hands…

Just because someone looked the same, didn't meant they were the same person inside, did it?

But Bella couldn't even think about the fact that Jacob was possibly an alcoholic or didn't give a shit about life like before.

Because he was here. In front of Bella. Gripping her arm softly.

"Holy shit, Bella!" He crowed in genuine delight, which made Bella's eyes widen in utter shock. She hadn't heard him sound so _happy_ since…well, since a long time ago. But before she could over-analyse into the fact that he might just have changed back into the sweet, gentleman that he was all those years ago, she was picked up into a massive bear hug, encased in a set of strong familiar arms.

She squeaked again in surprise as Jacob squeezed the air from her lungs, lifting her feet well off of the floor despite the fact that she was wearing heels.

"I cant believe you're here," he whispered into her neck which he had buried his face into. Bella just stared horrified over his broad shoulder - not hugging him back, but gripping onto his shoulders for dear life. She found the muscle was still tight under her sensitive fingertips and she closed her eyes as she felt Jacobs warm breath against her neck as he gently inhaled the fragrance of her hair.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

He shouldn't have been holding her in his arms like this. Like she had always craved.

Not now. This was just Bella's absolute nightmare coming to life before her eyes. Jacob was here, and so was Leah.

And she was fucked.

Bella felt the reluctance as Jacob pulled away from his massive grip and grinned at her, which just continued to shock Bella further.

Why the hell was he hugging her intimately and grinning like a fool when they had gone through one of the roughest divorces just five years ago?

_Shit_, Bella thought, _he has changed._

"Still using strawberry shampoo I see." He grinned at her.

She didn't know what to say to that. What the hell was she supposed to say to that? That was certainly _not_ something you ex-husband was supposed to say after five year of not speaking to each other. Was it?

"Jacob…" Bella's eyes flickered around nervously. She had to get out of there. Now.

"Jesus, _Bells_. You look great." Jacob's eyes roamed appreciatively over the aftermath of 'baby curves' Bella had gained since he had last seen her, "I mean, you've got a _figure_ now!"

Bella's face flamed out of old habit and she smiled nervously whilst her heart gave a loud thump at the sound of her nickname leaving Jacob's lips. All without making eye contact with him of course.

"Um, Jacob, look I have to-"

"Jacob?"

Jacob's head turned to the sound of his name being called, and despite being given a chance to run for it, Bella found herself turning to the nasally woman's voice as well.

Lauren stood just a metre from them, her eyes were narrowed at Bella making them look like to little slits as she clearly glared at the other woman.

"Oh, um, Lauren," Jacob stepped away from Bella nervously and towards Lauren.

Bella's stomach and heart gave a painful clench.

_Please no. Anyone but her._

"Bells, this is Lauren…my, er, she's my-"

"-girlfriend." Lauren finished, wrapping both her arms around Jacob's small waist possessively just to prove her point.

Bella swallowed back down the bile as she heard that fateful word. Was it not bad enough that Jacob had let another woman live in their _shared_ house - but this woman?

Bella wished she had slapped Jacob when she had first set eyes on him.

"Ye-yes. We already met. Um…look, I should-"

"Bella, love."

Bella gritted her teeth at the sound of Edward's voice from behind her just a second before his arm circled around her waist, pulling her back into his arms. She didn't dare look at Jacob's expression. He probably didn't really care, seeing as he was enough of a heartless bastard to let that blond bitch fuck him in a house that clearly belonged to Bella as much as him.

But just encase.

"Hi Lauren," Edward smiled at her a little _too _friendly for Bella's taste.

"Hello Edward," she replied seductively.

What a whore.

"I don't believe I've met you before. I'm Edward Cullen. Bella's _partner_." He reached out towards Jacob, not liking the way the oddly familiar man stared hard at Bella. Jacob blinked and turned towards Edward to shake his hand a little too firmly.

"Jacob Black."

Edward's eyes widened at the his name. Then he looked down at Bella who was staring off at something in the distance. Then back at Jacob.

Edward knew all about 'the Jacob Black', as Bella had told him everything when she was pregnant with Leah.

This was Bella's ex-husband.

Edward's mind cleared of all the bad impressions he had of Jacob Black and he gripped Bella's hand tight in his own.

"I think we should make our way home," _Before anything else turned to shit_.

"Yes. We should," Bella agreed not wanting to spend another second in that woman's presence.

"Okay well then, it was nice to meet-"

But Edward was cut off by a shrill familiar cry.

"Mama!" Bella's eyes widened even more than before at the sound of Leah's upset voice and dared a look at Jacob's face.

He looked frozen.

Before Bella could bolt for the door with Leah before Jacob got the chance to see her, Leah chose that moment to run straight past Jacob and throw herself into Bella's arms, tears streaming from her dark eyes.

"Oliver said he didn't love me anymore!" She wailed into her mother's neck, and it was the only sound that reached Bella's ears.

All four of them had turned silent.

Leah sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, her long eyelashes glistened with tears as she turned to the people around her, wondering why none of the adults were talking.

It was far to late to do anything now.

Bella just gripped her daughter in her arms as Jacob set eyes on Leah's face.

This just couldn't be happening.

Jacob stared horrified between Leah and then Bella and Edward, but he couldn't see the connection. Bella's child looked…_native_.

The cogs in Jacob's frozen mind turned painfully slow as Jacob put the pieces together one by one.

The child in Bella's arms looked like him.

"Bella?" He choked out, his intense gaze never leaving Leah who was starting to get intimidated by him staring.

Lauren just narrowed her eyes at Bella, sensing there was something obviously going on with her boyfriend and this woman. Something Jacob had never told her before.

Edward's heart raced in his chest as he watched the recognition appear on Jacob's face and he stood strong beside Bella encase the worse came to the worst.

"Jacob," Bella couldn't contain the tears that spilled down her cheeks and onto Leah who held onto her mother tightly, not understanding why her momma was crying and the big man was staring at her so.

"I, I can explain," she whispered, "Edward? Can you go please?"

Edward narrowed his eyes. Not trusting what could unfold between these two. And if Bella was right about the Jacob relying on a bottle of liquor for most things, things could turn nasty fast and with Leah near by, he wasn't willing to take that risk.

"No."

"Edward," Bella sobbed, "Please just go."

Edward knew this was hard for Bella, so he nodded reluctantly, threw a warning glare at Jacob who's fists were clenched by his sides and walked to the other side of the room, taking Lauren by the arm as he walked away - not giving her a chance to protest.

"Mama," Leah started to cry at the sight of her mother crying, "Please don't cry." She whimpered.

"I'm not crying," Bella blinked the tears from her eyes, "Come on." She made her way through the masses of people - sure that Jacob would be following her - out into the empty corridor of the building.

"Go and play with Oliver for a sec okay, sweetheart? I'll be back in a minute I promise." Bella set Leah on the floor and Leah nodded - even though she didn't want to play with Oliver, she went anyway.

"She's mine isn't she?" Jacob's voice cracked and Bella turned to him slowly, more tears spilling down her face.

"Yes." She whispered.

"Why Bella? Why didn't you tell me?" His closed eyes opened and Bella recoiled from the anger she saw in his eyes.

"Because we had just gotten divorced," she explained feebly, "I couldn't just come home like nothing had happened-"

"But she's _my_ child!" He snapped.

More tears dripped from her chin, "I know!" She cried, "But I just couldn't do it Jacob! It wasn't like you would have just wanted us to get back together and be all 'happy families'. I wasn't bringing our child into an unstable home. You were unstable Jacob! That's why we have a child in the first place!" Bella rubbed the tears from her face vigorously.

Jacob closed his eyes in pain as he remembered the night he came from after a whole bottle of Jack and seduced Bella. He hadn't worn a condom and now he had a daughter.

"I would have changed for her!" He spat defensively, "I would have changed for _you_!"

Bella sobbed, "No. You didn't change! If you had I would have never left!"

"It doesn't matter!" He roared, "She's _my_ child and you kept her from me after all these years! I've missed her growing up because YOU TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME!"

"I'm sorry! I always wanted to come back, I did. She was still a baby when I first asked of you, and guess what I found? That you had another woman living in _our_ house! I had all these visions of me turning up on your doorstep and you being so happy that I had come back," she stopped to draw in a shaky breath, "but then when I found out that you had someone living in our house, everything changed for me. I kept on imagining you rejecting us because you had another woman. I kept dreaming you would turn us away."

Jacob laughed bitterly, "You can hardly talk Bella. What about Eddie boy? You must be living with him if he's your partner right? It's not like you gave me a say in that either!"

"IT'S NOT THE SAME!" She screamed in frustration and anger, "That house was ours Jacob! You told me that yourself! We both worked hard to afford that house and the divorce states that it still belongs to _both of us_! Not just you so that you can fuck who ever you want in it!"

"Then why the hell didn't you just keep it yourself Bella? Then we wouldn't be having this pathetic argument!"

Bella's heart stung at the word 'pathetic. As far as she was concerned, this was anything but pathetic, she understood that it wasn't as important as the fact that she had kept Leah her little secret, but this meant a lot to her as it did to Jacob. Before.

"Because it meant something to us! I didn't want to get rid of everything that belonged to us! That was our home Jacob. That was where we got married and had so many good memories in," and bad, "It wouldn't have meant so much to me if you hadn't said so yourself. If I recall correctly after all these years you were the one who said through the divorce that 'it was our house and nothing would change that' but by looks of it you didn't exactly keep to it, did you?" Bella spoke through anger now and not sadness. She knew she wouldn't win this argument, but there was no harm in airing her views as to what had hurt her so much.

Jacob growled in frustration and anger, "Lauren asked to move in! I didn't ask her!"

"I don't give a flying fuck Jacob!" Bella spat, "I don't care! What I do care about is how you could _do that_! How could you?"

Jacob turned the conversation around and Bella knew she had opened herself up for this, "Well _how could you Bella_? How could you keep my child from me? I've missed my child grow. I MISSED EVERYTHING BECAUSE OF YOU!" He let out an anguished sob, "She doesn't even know who I am. She thinks someone else is her father and you want me to just go along with that? Just pretend to be a friend whilst I watch her call someone else 'daddy'?" Tears fell from his eyes as he wiped them away with the back of his sleeve, "I cant do it Bella." He fell to his knees before her and released another choked sob, his body shook with his cries.

Bella dropped to her knee beside him, tears drenching her face as she watched Jacob.

She watched what she had done to him.

"Jake," she used his nickname, reaching out to him.

"Don't touch me." He snapped through thick tears, "You've done enough Bella."

She nodded as her chin trembled and she slumped back against the wall, covering her face with her shaking hands.

"I'm sorry," she whispered over and over again.

"Sorry's not good enough." He leaned back, slumping against the opposite wall, leaning his head back he looked up at the ceiling with red rimmed eyes, "Not good enough."

"Then what is?" Bella whispered, "What do you want Jacob?"

His head snapped to hers, "What do _I _want? Right now I'm thinking that I want to take _my_ child and not let you see her for FIVE years! Then you can sit and wait and maybe feel just a little of what I am right now."

Just the thought of Jacob taking her precious Leah away made her insides turn. She would never allow it - but she did deserve it.

"Anything but that. I cant lose her Jacob. She's my life." And there was no way that Bella would willingly hand Leah over to Jacob when he was living with a piece of shit named Lauren.

"I want to see her," he whispered, "I want to see my daughter."

Bella nodded at his more than reasonable request and slowly got to her feet to go an get Leah. Things between Jacob and Bella were far from over, but now that he knew, maybe they could work something out so Leah could see them both.

She couldn't keep her from him any longer.

"But," Jacob stopped her with his hoarse voice, "I want you to introduce me as her father. I think you owe me at least that much."

Bella nodded and went to fetch Leah, leaving Jacob in the hallway.

"Mama!" Leah smiled from out of the window of the playhouse, which she climbed out of to get into Bella's arms, "Are you feeling better now?" She stroked Bella's cheek.

"Much better," Bella lied, "We're gonna go home soon okay? But I want you to meet someone first okay?"

"Okay!" She replied happily, resting her head on Bella's shoulder as she carried her out into the hallway where Jacob waited.

Bella felt Leah stiffen in her arms as she spotted Jacob, "Mommy…"

"It's okay, baby. He's a lovely man and you'll like him lots." Bella just prayed she would, because she was going to drop the bomb in a moment.

Jacob turned to the sound of approaching footsteps and had to choke back the tears at the sight of his beautiful child watching him curiously from Bella's arms. He got to his knees and turned to face her as Bella gently set her on the floor in front of Jacob. She was the most beautiful thing Jacob had ever seen and his heart swelled with love as he stared at his daughter with tears in his eyes.

"Hi," he croaked softly, "What's your name, honey?" He couldn't believe he was asking the name of his own child. He should have been there with Bella to help choose out names.

If only things had been different.

"Leah Black," she replied in a soft high voice, shifting nervously on her little feet. Her eyes - Jacob's eyes - kept flickering back to her mother her knelt behind her for reassurance.

Jacob coughed a sob at the sound of her name. It was the name that he and Bella had always wanted to call their daughter when they came round to having children all those years ago as he recalled sadly. But it was her last name that caught his breath - _his_ last name.

He didn't know whether to be angry at Bella or grateful.

"That's a coincidence, my name is Jacob Black."

Her beautiful eyes widened, "Wow! We have the same name!"

"We sure do," he sniffed and smiled.

Leah frowned and took a step forward to the man that shared her last name, "Why are you crying Jacob?"

"Because I'm really happy to see you Leah," he couldn't contain the traitorous tears that fell down his face, "I'm so happy to see you honey."

Without meaning to, Leah's eyes filled with tears as well and she reached up to wipe the tears from the tall mans face, "It's going to be okay Jacob."

"I hope so." He smiled at her and she smiled back.

Bella wiped the tears from her face that were caused because of the sight before her. It was such a heavenly sight Bella could have stayed there forever in that hallway with Jacob and Leah. With her family.

But she had more important things to do, so she knelt forward and took Leah's free hand that wasn't stroking Jacob's face, "Leah, I have something to tell you," she murmured thickly to her daughter who turned to her, "Jacob here is actually related to you. He's family."

"You are?" Leah's eyes brightened.

"Yep," Jacob nodded, holding her tiny hand against his face.

"Are you my pappi? Because I really would like you to be my pappi. And we have the same last name as well!" She bounced excitedly in front of him as Bella and Jacob's eyes widened.

"Mama, is he my daddy? Please let him be my daddy!"

Bella's stomach rolled in anxiety, relief and happiness. Things may have turned to shit today more than ever, but Leah had met her father. She had met Jacob. And she loved him already.

And it warmed Bella's heart more than ever before.

"Yes," Bella cried softly, "Jacob is your daddy."

Leah squealed happily and threw herself into Jacob's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck as he stared glass eyed over her shoulder - not quite being able to comprehend what had just unfolded before him.

"I missed you pappi," Leah smiled against his warm chest which she snuggle into contently, "I always told mama I'd come and find you."

Jacob's arms closed around his daughter which sat on his lap, pressing her face to his chest. Tears poured down his face as he laughed through tears, "I missed you too, baby. Daddy missed you so much," he sobbed into her sweet smelling hair, holding her close to his heart.

"I love you pappi." Leah squeezed her legs tighter around his waist.

"I love you too, Leah." He ran his fingers gently through her long silky mane against her back.

Nothing in the world matter to him then but his daughter that he held in his arms.

His sweet, sweet baby girl.

Leah heard more sniffling coming from her mother and let go of her daddy with arm to reach to her mommy who was crying against the wall, watching Jacob and Leah have their first embrace.

Bella took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly, but Leah pulled her determinedly closer towards her and Jacob.

"Now I have both my mommy and daddy, we can be a family now," she pulled her mama in more determinedly, showing Bella and Jacob exactly what she wanted.

Bella shuffled a little closer to them, hesitant as to what Jacob wanted. She didn't want to ruin this moment for him.

But Jacob took one look at Leah reaching out to her mama whilst holding onto his shirt with the other hand, and he didn't need to think once about lifting his arm to take Bella into his embrace as well as they sat together on the floor of the hallway.

Leah sighed happily, with an arm around both her mama and daddy, holding her separated parents together without knowing it.

Bella stroked her daughters hair, whilst leaning against Jacob's side like she used to, as Jacob wrapped an arm around both of them. He knew this was just to keep up appearances and that things were just starting between him and Bella. He knew that he still had a girlfriend waiting for him and Bella still had Edward waiting for her, but they both had Leah.

And nothing else mattered.

* * *

**Hope it wasnt really sad, but please leave me your thoughts anyway. **

** I'd really appreciate it.**

** OX**


	4. We've Got Time

**I'm too tired for an A/N, so I just hope you like this chapter, and that any miscommunications before have been cleared up.**

**Thanks for your support, even if I turn into a Queen bitch about it ;)**

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Time passed quickly and effortlessly for the trio as they shared their first embrace on the hallway floor. It wasn't like before for either Bella or Jake. Time never used to be on their side in that period of separation. It dragged by everyday, second by second, and when night came and they curled up in their separate beds - with or _without_ their significant others - they dreaded the minutes that brought them to the next sunrise.

To the next day.

So it was a complete bizarre experience for them both as they sat there on the floor, both curled around their precious daughter - who had contently fallen asleep against Jacob's chest, gripping onto his shirt with one hand and holding Bella's hand with the other. Uniting them for the first time in all the years and days that had dragged by.

As Jacob continued to pull his large fingers through Leah's fine silky hair that lay across her back, he couldn't help but revel in the moment that he was in at that point.

Through all the anger, bitterness and even the small amount of hatred he felt at that moment, he felt _happy_.

For the first time in years, he felt content.

There was no doubt in his mind that when he had come across Lauren, she made him happy. Jacob had _thought_ she had made him happy anyway.

But as he held his long lost child in his lap and his ex-wife under his arm, he realised that _this_ was the definition of happiness. He had been trying to fool himself all this time, thinking his father, girlfriend, best friends had made him happy these past years, but now he knew that the happiness he _craved_ like a drug addiction was from two mere individuals that he sat with right then.

Bella sighed sleepily against his side, unconsciously tightening her grip on Leah's tiny hand as well as around Jacob's waist the same time Leah's yawned in her sleep, pressing her face deeper into Jacob's cotton shirt, seeking warmth from her father.

Jacob had to tilt his head back to face the ceiling to blink away the traitorous tears that filled his tired eyesjust from the mere feeling of happiness.

The feeling of being a family.

More time passed and it must have been late because the music stopped in the other room and Jacob heard someone walk into the hall.

"Oh," Jacob slowly opened his dozing eyes to see a portly man in overalls standing by the entrance, his hand on the light switch, "Sorry. I, er, thought everyone had gone…Are you okay?"

Jacob felt too emotionally drained to talk too much so he just nodded his head.

"How 'bout them? You need me to call someone to pick you up? 'Cause I'm locking this baby up for the night."

Jacob cleared his scratchy throat, "We'll leave in a moment."

Luckily, the cleaner seemed to catch on quickly, "I'll give you guys five minutes before lights out," he muttered before disappearing.

Jacob glanced down at his sleeping child and former lover and sighed sadly.

In more ways than one - he really didn't want to let go.

He gently squeezed Bella's milky arm in his hand, and rubbed her satin skin gentle under his calloused fingertips, coaxing her out of her gentle slumber.

Her skin still felt the same to his touch.

"Jake?" She moaned in a tired whisper, leaning up and blinking against the bright lights. The left side of his body which she had been leaning against turned cold without her touch and Jacob wanted nothing more at that moment, than to press her back against his side and fall asleep just like that.

But in the realistic world, she had still hurt him in the worst way imaginable and Jacob would forever have to put that before his actions.

For now.

Jacob gazed down at Bella who was sitting up now, rubbing her tired eyes and still managing to look as beautiful as always. He considered that if it were Lauren rubbing her eyes cutely like Bella was, she would probably end up with massive panda eyes given the amount of make up she painted on everyday. But not Bella. Still after all these years and she was beautifully natural as ever.

"Jake?" Her soft voice brought him out of his internal reverie with a small jump.

"We should go. The cleaner is closing up any moment." He cleared his throat and avoided making eye contact with her, and instead concentrated on Leah who still slept soundly in his arms.

"The cleaner?" Bella was shocked. Had they really been sitting on the floor for that long? Where the hell was Edward? Why didn't he come and get her?

"Yeah," Jacob started to slowly get to his feet, still holding Leah tightly against his chest so that he wouldn't wake her, "It's half twelve."

Bella's eyes widened and she went to get to her aching feet too. The unmistakable throb in her backside definitely exaggerated the _hours_ she had spent sleeping against Jacob's side, beneath his inviting embrace.

She realized with a hint of remorse that she would live through millions of cramping muscles just to be under his arm again.

She watched Jacob cautiously as he seemed to stretch out his long, athletic legs before him whilst shifting Leah gently in his arms to a more comfortable position, she couldn't help but reach out and try to help, "Do you need-"

"I'm fine." He cut her off without making eye contact, automatically tightening his grip on the sleeping child who snuggled contently into his neck, pressing her hand to his throat in her deep sleep.

He just couldn't let her go.

Bella nodded feebly and dropped her hands lamely back to her sides, smoothing down her creased dress as she didn't have anything else to hold onto.

"Come on," Jacob jerked his head towards the Exit, "Before we get locked in here." He made his way briskly to the door, despite the feeling that told him he would have enjoyed being locked in there with Bella and Leah much more than he should.

Bella followed timidly behind, nearly jogging to keep up with his long strides. It was as if their moment just minutes ago had never happened and her true nightmare had taken its place. Jacob walking away from Bella with Leah in his arms.

Bella increased her pace so that she was nearly by his side. She wouldn't let him walk out of her life just like that.

Not like last time.

"How are you getting home?" She asked as they exited the building into the chilly Port Angeles air, forcing herself to wrap her arms around her body.

"Car," he nodded over to his truck, grateful that Lauren hadn't decided to drive it back. She had probably gotten a lift with that Edweird dude.

"Okay." Bella nodded reluctantly, "Good. I'll call for a cab to the hotel," she rifled through her handbag to grab her cell, "I'll probably see you tomorrow or something…" She muttered as tears burned in her eyes like acid. She didn't know why she was resisting the urge to sob her heart out again, maybe it was at the thought of Jacob climbing in their old wrought iron bed tonight into the arms of that _woman_ tonight. Or maybe it was the thought of having to take Leah away from him once again, she didn't really know, but whatever it was - it was slowly killing her inside.

Jacob stood staring at her as she dug through her bag for her cell phone not sure why the hell she was saying that when it was obvious he would give her a lift wherever she needed to go. Anything to spend some more time with Leah.

"Bells," her nickname slipped off of his tongue like it was the most natural thing in the world, but still managed to make them both jerk in surprise.

He cleared his throat as he looked away from her soft, big doe eyes to the car, "I'll give you a lift." And he made his way to the truck before they could say anything else.

He unlocked the vehicle and stood hesitantly by the hood, his eyes flickering between Leah in his arms and the drivers side of the car, before catching Bella's gentle, understanding gaze.

"I can drive if you want to hold her for a bit longer," she offered softly before mentally berating herself for suggesting such a thing. She was acting like a girlfriend, not a hated ex-wife.

"Yes," he answered gratefully before she took it back, "Please." He tacked on, handing her the keys before climbing into the passenger side slowly, adjusting Leah on his lap before gently strapping the seatbelt across them both.

Bella climbed just as slowly into the drivers side, adjusting the seat and starting the engine, "Nice car," she commented pulling out of the car park, treading on safe ground. She didn't like the awkwardness that filled the car. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Jake and Bells were _never_ awkward, even when things _should_ have been awkward they always managed to make light of the situation. Always.

Deep down, they were the same two carefree people that drank warm soda's in the garage, messed up their first time making love and got married in flipflops. Yes, things had changed dramatically since then, but that hadn't changed.

And why should it now?

"Thanks," Jacob couldn't help but smile, "She wasn't first choice though. I would have rather kept the Rabbit due to sentimental values, but she was really on her last legs."

"Of course. I watched you build her from scratch," in those simpler times, "Did you completely get rid of her?" Bella asked. She wished he hadn't. She remembered those countless times when she sat in his homemade garage watching him work on that car. It was on of her best memories of him, so of course the Rabbit had sentimental values to her as well. She just wasn't sure that they were the same as his.

"Hell no. She's parked up in the garage at the moment. Just like she was at the beginning."

_The beginning_ felt like it had more than one meaning to Bella.

"Good," she smiled, feeling the awkwardness dissolve slowly in the car like always.

They were quiet for a moment, both revelling in the peace besides the gentle purr of the automatic car and the quiet breaths of Leah.

But it was all too much for Jacob.

"You cant go back, y'know," He murmured into the dark cab, staring unseeingly out of the window.

Bella hadn't had much time to consider this, but she did understand that this was the consequence she had to pay if she wanted to stay close to Leah, because Lord knew that Jacob wouldn't let her out of his sight again.

"I know," she said quietly, tightening her grip on the steering wheel. She didn't want to think about what it would do to her relationship with Edward, and she didn't really want to think about it at that moment. But her relationship with Leah came far above any other and she would have to do what was necessary.

Even if it meant breaking another heart.

"Do you think Eddie boy's gonna be happy about that?" Jacob couldn't help the sarcasm that flowed out of his mouth.

Bella shrugged, "He probably knows that there are going to have to be some moving arrangements made for Leah's sake. We'll just have to sort something out." She went to offer Jacob a weak smile, but something caught her eye.

"Is that _our_ ring?" She gasped, her eyes flickering between the road before her and the solid platinum wedding band around Jacob's thumb.

Jacob's expression darkened and he automatically tucked his thumb under his fingers, "Yes. I got it enlarged and had it blessed."

Bella didn't say anything as she pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. What was there to say? 'Why the hell are you wearing our wedding ring?' She was completely touched by that gesture. After all these years, Jake had been wearing the ring she had given him on their beautiful wedding day - just like the one she had hanging on the necklace she wore everyday.

Did it still mean something to him, like it did to her? Did it mean, that after all these years, he still found hope in the possibility of Bells'nJake?

So many question were running through her mind, but she settled on a safe one because Jacob looked nervous.

"What did you get it blessed for?" To take away the evil spirits of their marriage?

Jacob's expression darkened even more, before he turned to Bella's curious gaze for the straight answer, "It's a purity ring."

Bella frowned at his answer, "No…it's our wedding ring. I-I have mine with me too…" She reached down between the valley of her breasts and pulled out her identical platinum band that hung on the silver chain.

Jacob couldn't help widen his eyes as he stared at the beautifully simple ring he had slipped onto Bella's finger those years ago by the ocean. Every time he would go to bed at night, he would stare at the ring on his thumb and wonder what Bella had done with hers. Considering the idea that she had done something harsh like throwing it out in the trash more than keeping it like he always wished.

Laying against her creamy palm, it had never looked more beautiful, than, of course, when it was actually on her finger.

Without realising it, Jacob reached out to touch the ring in her palm gentle with the thumb which held his ring. Watching them both gleam in the semi darkness.

"You kept it…"

Bella nodded, watching him, "Of course. I kept everything you gave to me."

Jacob smiled, "Good."

She gently withdrew her hand from his and tucked her chain back under her dress, "But why did you say it was a purity ring?"

Jacob pursed his lips and stared down at the sleeping child in his arms, "Because I'm celibate."

Bella balked, "But…y-your not. I mean, we had…we've-"

"I mean after you _left_." He snapped a little harsher than necessary as Leah whimpered in her sleep and tightened her skinny arms around his neck as he stroked her back soothingly.

He sighed, "After you left, I've been celibate ever since."

Bella started to slowly comprehend what he was saying, "So…you and Lauren…have never…"

"Had sex?" He smirked bitterly, "Nope. Not planning on it anytime soon either, unless I decide to marry her-" he broke off and cleared his throat, "But we both know that wont be happening anytime soon. I'm sure you can understand why I'm not a huge fan of marriage right now."

Bella flinched at his bitter words. It wasn't like she pressured him into getting a divorce. Their relationship wasn't working out, and that was all there was to it. If anything, it was Jacob that tore them apart in the first place. Bella couldn't remember one single time when she had ever been a…bad wife.

So why did she feel like he was pointing the finger at her?

Instead of lashing out like she wanted to, she huffed in annoyance, "Yeah, well that makes the two of us."

Jacob's eyes narrowed.

"…don't even know what you see in him," Bella caught him muttering under his breath, "So he's got loads of money. Great. But when have you ever been a gold digger?"

She gaped at him, "Well, when have you ever been into blonde whores?" She snapped back, "I for one know that you've always gone after dark haired, natural women - not fake little tarts with bleached hair."

He snorted but didn't yell at her for slagging off his girlfriend like she thought he would, "And how would you know Bella? 'Cause so far there have only been two women in my life," _three now_, he mentally added glancing down at his precious daughter, "And you're the only one with dark hair." He bit off rather nastier than he felt as he wondered after that maybe this was Bella telling him something.

"Well…I…" It seemed like a witty thing to say at the time, but now it was just making her look like an idiot.

She composed herself before turning to Jacob who was smirking triumphantly.

Fucking prick.

She glared back, thinking that the end of the evening hadn't gone as smoothly as she had hoped, before holding her arms out, "I'm gonna take Leah inside. It was really nice talking to you _Jake_. Maybe we can do this again some time soon?" She smiled sweetly at him.

His eyes widened, completely taken back by her request.

_She definitively won that one, _Jacob thought to himself, _Christ what am I even thinking? She won a fucking argument and I'm treating it like some goddamn competition! This wasn't how I wanted this to be_, he tightened his grip on Leah, _this wasn't how we were supposed to be._

Bella's sarcastic expression softened at the look of his torn face and the open cavity in her chest warmed around the edges, "You could stay the night if you don't want to leave…"

He stared up at her, "Just me and her? Wont she be a little worried when she wakes up?"

"Oh, well, I thought-"

His expression whitened, "Don't even think about suggesting me staying in a room with you and Eddiekins, because I might just barf."

Bella's face flamed, "No! Of course not! I was going to suggest staying with you for the night," Bella watched in mortification as his eyes darkened, "I-I mean, with you in the room so that Leah can wake up with us both their…not for any other…" she looked away nervously, "…I'd let Edward know where I was…and I'll try and get a room next to his-" She broke off as a warm finger touched the bottom of her chin, coaxing her to turn around.

Jacob's gentle face met with her own, and for a moment, he looked like he did when they first fell in love, "Thank you." He simply said.

She nodded, feeling helpless by the weight of his eyes on her face as he stared at her and reached up to touch the hand that was holding her chin.

"Your welcome."

* * *

"Okay, I'm just leave this note for Edward. I'll be back in a moment," she picked up the note of explanation from the dresser by the door.

She could feel Jacob's eyes on her as he went to gently settle Leah on the middle of the double bed, but she didn't look back at him as she made her way out the door.

Walking to the end of the corridor, she unlocked her and Edward's hotel room door with the spare key card and silently tiptoed inside to his side of the bed where he lay sprawled, snoring like an old man and placed the note on his bedside table where he would find it in the morning.

She made her way back to her and Jake's room quicker than she thought she should.

"Hey, I-" She started as she opened the door, but was cut off by the pure sight before her.

Leah was in the middle of the bed, sleeping soundly as ever, whilst Jake was curled around her small body like the protective father Bella always thought he would be, one arm propping himself up as he watched her sleep with devotion in his eyes, as the other gently traced the outline of her facial features with the tip of his finger. Almost memorizing them, like he never wanted to forget.

Bella's eyes pricked as she closed the door behind her.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" She murmured into the dim light of the room. She perched herself at the foot of the bed and pulled her shoes off.

Jacob didn't look up, but smiled, "The most…" he murmured, placed a delicate kiss on the top of Leah's smooth forehead and turned to Bella with a grin.

"You have to admit, we made a beautiful kid."

Bella's caught her breath violently and started to choke a little at his words, "Um," she coughed, "I guess I cant disagree there…" She avoided making eye contact with him. Jacob just stared at her with a boyish smirk on his face.

No words were exchanged as Bella switched off the light and crawled to the other side of Leah in the moonlit darkness.

She hesitated before sliding under the covers.

"Jacob?" She whispered.

"Yeah?" He whispered back on the other side of the bed.

"Do you mind if I…take off my dress?" She asked nervously as her heart hammered in her chest, "I'll be in a vest - I, just forgot to get some pyjama's and I seriously cant be bothered to go to get them-"

"No," he interrupted her quickly in a hoarse voice, "That's fine." His pulse was thrumming in his neck and he gripped his hand over it, worrying that she might hear it. The blood was rushing so loudly through his mind he could hardly think straight.

Like any typical, straight, man, his mind was a constant flow of _'Bella in panties, Bella in panties, Bella in panties_.' Despite there feeling that he should really be angry at her still. Jacob was typically 100% male.

"Thanks," she was relieved. She didn't want to sound like she had planned not bringing pyjama's with her. What would he have really thought? That she was trying to seduce him?

Bella swallowed thickly at the thought, and went to quickly pull the scratchy dress over her head.

"Seeing as your getting naked and everything…"

"I'm not getting naked!" She shrieked under her breath at his teasing tone through the darkness.

He continued, "I was wondering if I could take off my jeans as well…I'll be in a t-shirt and boxers," he added quickly encase she took it too seriously.

God, it was like they were both teenagers again.

"Sure," she whispered, her face flaming at the memory of those many hot, sweaty nights of passion she had shared with Jake.

She really had to get her hormones in check.

There was some rustling as Jacob pulled his jeans off and threw them on the floor, before silent breaths were the only sound that filled the room.

Bella laid there in the darkness for a few moments, mistaking the quiet for Jacob sleeping - but she was interrupted by his low voice.

"I _cant _forgive you," he whispered the same time Bella's heart plummeted, "But I _do_ understand. A little."

Bella tucked the covers around her tighter, remembering what it felt like when she didn't even need covers when Jake slept with his arms around her, "I'm not looking for forgiveness," she said, "But I'm glad you understand."

"Just a little."

"It's enough for me."

He sighed, and lifted his head to see the pale moon illuminate a side of Leah's serene face - at which he smiled.

"We'll work something out," he touched a lock of Leah's ebony hair, "For Leah's sake." But deep down in the pit of his swelling heart - he knew that it was for his and Bella's sake as well.

"Thank you," She whispered, closing her eyes.

It was early days yet, but who knew what would happen in the future? Only time would tell, and they both had plenty of _that_.

This was a good thing.

"Goodnight Jacob."

"Night Bella."

They eventually fell asleep, both in the same bed - in such close proximities.

But still miles apart.

**

* * *

**

Yeaaaahhh, this was kinda a filler - but it all leads to the story. I swear.

Was Jake too kind? Bella too ... something? Leah sleeping too much? LOL.

**Tell me what you thought in a REVIEW. Seriously - ANYTHING. What would you like to see? What do you predict is gonna happen?**

**Leave me some love. OX**


	5. The Inevitable

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READ!

**A/N : So this is quite a slow paced chapter, but things start getting pretty intense, so i hope that makes up for it!**

Warning: This chapter has the potential to be very steamy (literally!) but you'll have to leave me a review as to whether you want it to be or not! :)

* * *

There was a giggle and a bright flash behind Bella's closed eyelids, causing her to bury her face deeper into the pillow under her head, willing the lingering dream to disappear.

Another white flash burst before her heavy lids followed by another giggle and some movement at the bottom of the bed where a small foot trod on Bella's calf before it slipped and a heavier weight fell upon her with a squeal.

Bella groaned. Trust Leah to wake her up by jumping on her.

Her noise of discontent was answered by a rumbling moan coming from what sounded like the pillow beneath her.

Memories from the previous night flooded her mind before she had a chance to breathe and her eyes snapped open on their own accord, the same time Jacob's did.

They were _cuddling_.

Not cuddling, but embracing. Like a pair of lovers. They both faced each other, noses almost brushing - Bella's head rested on Jacob's bicep which lay under her head, allowing her to feel the heat of his breath on her parted lips. Under the thin sheet, Jacob's heavy, bare muscled leg was thrown over Bella's smooth ones, entrapping them against him in an erotic way. His large, searingly warm hand rested on Bella's ribcage, holding her flush against his chest, her breasts burned with arousal, touching against his pectorals. Bella moved her arm a fraction in that moment and found her fingers slip out underneath a strip of elastic behind Jacob - it took a long moment to comprehend that in her sleep, she had stuck her hand down the back of Jacob's briefs.

But the feeling of shock set in far quicker than every other emotion and they both jumped away from each other with sharp movements.

"Oh, God, I am _so_ sorry Jake-"

"Christ, Bella, I swear I didn't mean to-"

They both started apologizing profusely to one another once a small gap had been placed between them, but were cut short by a familiar giggle by their feet.

Leah sat cross-legged at the bottom of the bed, Bella's digital camera in her small hands - her hair was rumpled from sleep, and her clothes from last night a little creased, but on top of that, she wore a toothy grin as she giggled at both of her parents.

Of course, now both Jake and Bella realised that they had only woken up in each others arms this morning, due to the fact of their child moving from her allocated slot - only to take pictures of them it seemed.

But neither Bella or Jake found themselves regretting it.

"What are you taking pictures of, sweetie?" Bella asked her daughter, her face was still warm with embarrassment from the previous event.

"Of you and daddy snuggling." Leah smiled.

Jacob felt tears well up in his eyes at the sound of his _new_ name. He really was a blessed man to have his daughter take to him so quickly after their long separation.

Leah was his saving grace.

"Such a little monster," Bella found herself smiling as Leah crawled up the length of the bed, leaving the camera behind so she could sprawl herself across her mommy and daddy. Closing the small gap Jake and Bella had put between them instantly.

"What are we doing today?" Leah looked up at her mother who was stroking the tangles in her hair and then over to her father who was playing with her toes with a smile, "Pappi, that tickles!" She squealed in delight, squirming on their laps as Jacob tickled her feet with his answering laugh.

"Momma, help me!" She giggled hysterically as Jacob lifted up her legs and blew raspberries on the soles of her feet.

Bella brought herself out of her trance of watching Jacob and Leah interacting so happily to answer, "Oh, I'm not sure…" She grinned before waggling her fingers at Leah, "Maybe daddy needs some help…" she turned to Jacob in mock role play as he continued to chuckle and tickles Leah's feet, "What do you say Jacob? Need any help?"

"By all means," he smirked at her, a chuckle escaping his lips as Bella's fingers tickled Leah's underarms till she squealed.

Bella and Jacob both stopped when they thought Leah had had enough, not wanting her to throw up all over them, all three tired from their morning play session - collapsed back to the bed breathing heavily and laughing.

"What we doing today mama?" Leah asked again once they had quieted.

"Well apart from going to see grampa and grammy - nothing sweetheart. So what would you like to do?"

Leah thought hard for a moment, "Can we go to the park?"

"There isn't a park here, Leah honey…"

"But there is a beach." Jacob propped himself up on one elbow to poke Leah in the stomach gently, "How would you like to go to the beach? It's quite sunny today so we might even be able to go swimming and make sandcastles!"

Leah jumped to her feet and started bouncing almost immediately, "Yay! I wanna go to the beach!" She bounced, jostling both Jacob and Bella only in the slightest.

"Sounds pretty good to me." Bella agreed with a small smile, not making eye contact with Jacob, despite the fact that they were sleeping in the same bed - defeating the whole idea of 'awkwardness'.

"Mama, you have to come too!" Leah pleaded, scrambling up onto her mothers lap, "Please! We can make even more sandcastles!"

Bella swallowed and chanced a glance at Jake who lay beside her - close enough to touch - his gaze was fixed solely on Leah.

"Oh, I don't know honey, maybe daddy-"

"Mommy will come," Jacob interrupted her with such ease, "She can help us build sandcastles."

"Yay!" Leah squealed, throwing herself into Jacob's awaiting arms. Bella smiled to herself and met Jacob's own smile over the top of Leah's head.

Bella's heart thudded hard for a moment deep inside her chest as she stared into Jacob's obsidian eyes and she forced herself to look away.

"I'll have to tell Edward first though," she glanced at her wrist watch, "He'll be getting up soon…"

The fact that Bella knew what time Edward woke up in the morning, like it was the most natural thing in the world, caused an anger in Jake to boil like the one he had been trying to control for the past five years. It made him want to snap. Say spiteful things. Just do something that would take his overwhelming anger out of his body and onto something else…

Someone else.

Then Leah chose that moment to squirm out of his taut embrace and over to her mother - and Jake knew he could never let that person consume him again.

He could never let his anger win.

"Uncle Eddie left this," Leah fished a crumpled note out of her dress pocket and handed it to Bella who read it.

_Thank you for your note. I hope everything went okay, my love._

_I'm afraid I cannot take you to your parents house, as I have been_

_called out for a very urgent meeting in Seattle and will be back in _

_no more than three days._

_I'm sorry it was so last minute, but I will be back before you know it._

_I hope this gives you some more time to sort things out a bit better_

_with Jacob._

_Till a few days, love._

_Edward._

Bella read the note again with a frown of disbelief etched onto her face. She couldn't quite comprehend what Edward had left her to. This was quite possibly one of the biggest moments of her life - not to be taken advantage of - and he had just disappeared to Seattle, no doubt in a goddamn jet plane, to attend a meeting?

Did he not feel even a little bit of jealously when he found out that Bella was sleeping in a room with a man than used to be her _husband_?

It wasn't like Bella wanted to make him jealous on purpose - nothing like that at all, but thinking deeper into her actions, made her wonder why he wasn't jealous. Like the majority of most people, she certainly would have been if it had been Edward. Was it because Edward trusted her?

For some reason she wasn't so sure.

"What's wrong?" Jacob had been studying her face - as always - so he didn't miss the small crease than formed between her arched brows as she read the note. Through everything, Jake had always been able to tell what was running through Bella's mind, even when she tried to hide it. They had known each other so long, things that used to be secret to only their minds were shared freely between them as if one. Hell, Jacob sometimes thought that he knew Bella better than she knew herself.

And he certainly knew that Bella knew him better than he knew himself.

"Well, I guess that settles things," Bella muttered to herself, "Looks like Edward has been called out to an urgent meeting in Seattle. He'll be back in a few days."

Leah let out a high pitch 'Yay!' babbling on about now being able to stay at the beach _f o r e v e r _making sandcastles, when Bella caught Jacob's eye.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?"

He smiled even more.

"No reason."

* * *

Bella went to her and Edward's vacant room to gather her and Leah's things before re-entering her, Jacob and Leah's room calling Leah over so that she could help dress her into her outfit for the day - swimsuit first, just encase.

Jacob watched for a while from his spot on the bed the gentle mother and daughter banter that would be exchanged between Bella and Leah. It was the most natural thing he had ever seen. He kept his eyes on Bella as she stared adoringly at her daughter and couldn't help but feel that it was like things were supposed to be this way after all. Seeing the adoration in Bella's eyes as she gazed fondly at Leah - Jacob felt like he could understand just that much _more_ what it must be like for Bella. He understood that with all the pressure pushing down on his shoulders, if anything, he would have to do everything in his might and soul to bring them together back as a family as much as possible.

Because in simpler times, years ago, Bella used to look at him like that.

And he wasn't about to let her slip through his fingers again.

* * *

Bella closed her eyes before stepping under the warm, rain of water coming from the showerhead. She revelled in the feeling of the water soaking its way into her thick hair and onto her scalp, washing it's way over the contours of her expressionless face. Cleaning her eyelashes over previous tears, dripping off of the end of her nose and onto her parted lips and chin where the soothing water continued its journey down the rest of her body.

For the first time in five years, Bella felt herself start to relax.

There were still the impending fears and worries she had - particularly about Jacob and his - _retch_ - 'girlfriend', but she could face them when she needed to.

Until then, she would spend her time with Jacob and Leah, and not waste a damn second of it.

Bella's mind was so full of trails of running thoughts, she didn't hear the bathroom door open and close gently.

So by the time she had rinsed her hair and body of soap suds, pulling back the shower curtain whilst wiping her eyes, she damn near had a heart attack when she saw Jacob's bare muscled back by the sink. And more importantly, the fact that in the reflection of the mirror that was in front of him, she met his heavy gaze with her own.

Her first reaction was to yelp in surprise and yank the curtain back over her nude, wet, body pushing herself back against the tile wall as her heart raced dramatically in her chest, almost protesting in the amount of adrenaline that pulsed through her veins as she gasped:

"_What the hell are you doing in here!_"

He turned towards her and due to the concentration she was exuding on making sure her 'private parts' were covered to the best of her ability, she sort of missed the moment to re-visualize the same russet, defined stomach abdominals and chest, although she certainly _did_ see them.

He waved one of the hotel toothbrushes at her, "Brushing my teeth?" The question in his answer to her question made him sound innocent - as if he didn't even mean to walk into the bathroom while she was taking a shower mere feet from him, but as Bella's heart rate slowed, she glanced up at his face with frantic eyes to see the unmistakable grin - not smirk - in his eyes as well as a cloudy look of something else she had seen before, but not entirely willing to agree with herself on it.

_Lust_.

She gaped furiously as him, shaking off her thoughts and the way he was looking at her, "But I'm in the shower!"

He shrugged, "And?"

If it were one of those cartoon shows Leah loved to watch, Bella was sure her chin would be touching the floor by now, "_And_? And, I'm naked!"

He stared at her for a moment, fighting an inner battle with the man within and losing almost immediately as he continued to take his eyes off of her wide, brown eyes and rake them down her wet body. Goosebumps raised on the surface of his skin as he memorized the way the shower curtain clung to her wet skin, molding and shaping her feminine frame, the way her long, dripping dark hair draped over her shoulders, a few strands stuck to her shocked face and his hands itched to brush it all into his hands.

His eyes made their way back to hers in their own time and he was met with her own heavy gaze instead of her previous horrified one.

Jake felt himself twitch in his shorts and was pretty sure he just came a little.

"What's wrong with that?" He swallowed, turning back to the sink, eliminating the possibility of her spotting the tent he was pitching in his pants, "It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

And it was true. Jake had almost seen Bella naked more than she had seen herself naked. Those times when they used to make slow, torturous love in all different positions in all different places, he would take his time undressing her, pressing tender kisses to every available surface of her creamy skin as she watched him - once bare before him, he would rake his adoring gaze over every limb, ridge and contour of her body until he knew things about her body that even she didn't know.

And then there were the times in their honeymoon period and even _after_ when they would just walk around their quaint little house in nothing but their birthday suits - because they _could_. When it was more than likely you would be having sex at _least_ six times a day - what was the point in wearing clothes? Although, they both came to the conclusion after a while that the fact that they _weren't_ wearing clothes wasn't really helping either.

Still, it wasn't like they wanted help.

Bella overlooked his expression in the fogged up mirror, he wouldn't meet her gaze, but she could see that he was in deep thought by the tense posture of his back muscles and the way he roughly gripped the edge of the sink. She clutched tighter to the shower curtain covering her body, fighting off the urge to get out of the shower and run her hands over those sinewy, hard muscles her fingers had once been so acquainted with.

"I guess…" She finally agreed in a soft voice, though she could hardly hear herself speak over the loud thrumming over her heart.

Jacob swallowed audibly and tried to resist the urge to not turn around - and make her more uncomfortable - but failed miserably.

He glanced over his shoulder to his former lover and swallowed again. She really was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. More now than before.

And that was just going to make things so much more difficult.

Jake watched Bella shrug away from the tile wall and step to the edge of the shower and his heart leapt up into his throat. Would she really just get out naked and ignore his probing gaze like all those years ago? Nudity was not a big thing to some, but looking at Bella naked the memories which he had tucked safely away of their most intimate moments together would flow freely through his mind for sure. Through the mind of a _pure_ man. Surely that was a sin, right?

The cool band of his purity ring on his thumb, reminded him of his restraints and the promise he had made.

But staring at Bella, made Jacob consider the fact that some promises were meant to be broken.

"Can you pass me the towel, please?" Bella asked softly, pointing to the white towel resting on the edge of the sink by his trembling hands.

Jacob felt a wave of disappointment wash over him. How could he have been so naïve as to think that she would really step out of the shower and bare all she had to him? So she agreed with him that he had already seen everything before, but times had changed drastically since and Jacob had to remind himself not to expect anything from Bella.

Especially not _that_.

Jacob nodded and grabbed the towel by his hand and walked over to the shower. He knew he was crossing all kinds of lines closing in on Bella like this when he could have just handed the towel to her, but his feet walked on their own accord, and he didn't fight it either.

Mere inches away, Bella could feel his warm breath drying her wet skin and she shivered, taking the towel from his hands.

"Thank you."

Not moving from his spot, Jacob watched as Bella tried to manoeuvre the towel around her body whilst holding the shower curtain in place, he knew he should have just turned away and given her a little privacy, but Bella didn't protest by his intruding gaze so he didn't move.

A few more struggles later, Jacob held his hands out in offering.

"Here, let me," he whispered.

Bella's head lifted up from what she was doing to see Jake's outstretched hands and she nodded without making eye contact.

Jacob moved his trembling hands to behind Bella naked back, lifting the towel which hung at her side and pulling it around her back, standing dangerously close.

Bella held her breath at the proximity of their faces and found herself swaying a little in his embrace. The sensible part of her mind reminded her that it was wrong. It was wrong to stand in a different mans embrace when you knew that the feelings you felt weren't entirely platonic and especially when you have another man waiting for you.

But the previous addiction to Jake still lingered in her being and the sensible reminders she was receiving from her brain were pushed away.

Jacob took his time enveloping Bella's shivering body into the towel - deep down knowing that the goosebumps raised on her milky skin was definitely not from being cold. An inner battle with his conscience was taking place inside his troubled mind - one side claiming that he should still be livid at Bella at what she had done to him (and part of him still was) whilst the other displayed previous, _beautiful_ memories of the times they had shared together.

_She left you._

_**Because she had to.**_

_She kept your child from you._

_**Because you were unstable.**_

_You have a girlfriend and she has a partner._

_**She'll always belong to you.**_

The tinkling laughter at the television from the other room tore him in two more then ever, but catching Bella's gaze at the same time, made him inevitably - and unconsciously choose _her_.

His arm snaked around the front of Bella's body, pushing the shower curtain out of the way (without looking down) he pulled the towel across Bella's front, his fingers grazing the tops of her breasts and catching on the silver chain.

Now centimetres away, his warm breath on her tongue, he leaned down with the intent and uncontrollable impulse to kiss Bella's soft, parted lips - his eyes stayed determinedly connected to hers as his nose brushed her sweet cheek when she stopped him.

"Jake," she whispered, her sweet breath fanning across his face as he nudged his nose against her cheek, "Don't."

"Why not?" He stared at her with such fierce passion he could almost see the walls she had put between them crumble before him.

"You…" she shook her head minutely, "I - you have a…and I have - him. This is _wrong_."

Right then, he quite frankly didn't give one shit if she had that fucker as a partner, or even the fact that he had a girlfriend (wherever she was), it was all about Bella.

A new purpose - and not a very nice one at that - reared it's ugly head in him. His hand which was hanging limply at his side, reached up to take hold of Bella's cotton covered waist, "Don't you think you _at least_ owe me this much?" He didn't miss the small gasp she gave out, "Besides," he whispered, "You and I both know that we'll always belong to each other."

Her feeble protest was covered by his hot, wet lips.

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**I know I left this on a cliffy, but I want to give you something to look forward to in the next chapter. Things might seem like they are moving along slowly, but it's the beginning which is always the slowest part, but dont you worry, it'll speed up soon! Especially between these two love birds!****  
Do you think they will be able to keep their hands off each other? Does anyone want them to? Haha, leave me some love and tell me what you think!**

Love Rae x


	6. Killing Me Inside

**A/N - I know this is very short, but it's pretty intense and I've been so busy you wouldnt believe it, so this will have to do for the moment.**

**WARNING: this chapter contain HEAT. But it isnt all lovey dovey, so I warning you now. This is NOT rape.**

She couldn't move. She couldn't think.

_But she could feel_.

It was the only thing that her muddled mind could comprehend. The probing pressure of Jake's sweet, lips covering hers nearly killed her in one go. How many times had she relived this feeling in their period of separation? How many times would Edward kiss her and she would compare it to Jacob? To _this_?

She lost count over the years.

And then there was the taste. The heavy flavour of the moistness of Jacob's lips transferred to her tongue almost made Bella high. It was as much as an aphrodisiac now as it was before.

Only one thing ran through her mind at that point:

_Jake. Is. Kissing. Me._

Jacob could feel her tense stature under his fingers and in wiser moments, he would have pulled away and apologized for crossing the obvious line between them - but he was drunk on everything that was Bella, so instead, he ran his fingers up her towel covered waist, round to her smooth, damp naked back and into the long tresses of drying hair, which he curled around his fist and crushed her closer to him with a grunt.

Bella squeaked against his mouth at the sudden aggressiveness that Jacob had just exuded and automatically reached up to take hold of his face and push him away - when doing so, she wasn't very successful.

"Jake," her voice was muffled by his parted lips which seemed to catch every plea she tried to make.

He could feel her struggling against him and the noises she made beneath him, but it only fuelled his response more into kissing her - _holding her_ - **wanting her** - and without a second thought, his tongue was pushing past his soft lips as well as her stiff ones, sliding past her teeth and slipping against her own and he couldn't help the deep, guttural moan the escaped from his lungs at the mere taste of her.

Of course, for Bella, that was the deal breaker right there - if she had tasted him before then she was in heaven now.

She found her body curling into his embrace, pressing herself up against his warmth like a cat in heat, her hands went from holding her towel against her body to his chest which was hot against her breasts. Trailing and memorizing the way his taut skin felt like satin beneath her fingertips, she traced around his ribcage to the indentation of his spine, back to his chest, palms down, running her hands up over his broad shoulders and to the nape of his neck where she fingered his short black locks.

The gentle tugging sensation Bella was doing to Jake's hair nearly drove him into a frenzy - she knew he loved it when she ran his fingers through his hair like that. It made him lose himself to her touch - it made him _want_ her.

With another tug to his short locks, Jake's lips went from passionate to rough and needy in seconds and he had her in his arms and sitting on top of the sink in no time at all, the only thing keeping the towel in place being the heaving close proximities of their bodies and still then, grabbing hold of her damp thighs and wrenching them apart before stepping between them - he could still feel the delicious heat of her need for him.

Bella felt her legs constrict around his waist and pull him impossibly closer to where she wanted him most and he made a half grunt half moan noise in the back of his throat before withdrawing his sweet, slippery tongue from her hot mouth only to bring it back against her parted, swollen lips, kissing her forcefully, twisting and turning so that he could get every angle of her mouth as his hands went from her hair to the front of the towel, before moving his lips across her cheek to her ear which he licked and sucked and then down to her neck - the place she loved to be kissed most.

Whilst ravaging her neck in a not so gentle way, he attempted to rid Bella of the offending barrier of material she wore, tugging roughly at the front her towel, trying to find the edge without tearing his eyes away from the milky expanse of her beautiful neck, luckily, Bella seemed to get the picture and took her hands out of his hair - making Jake groan in panting protest - to pull away from his chest just enough to rip the towel from her body and to the floor before pressing herself fully against Jacob's naked torso.

"Oh God," he moaned, burying his face into her neck whilst looking over her shoulder into the mirror and watching his hands roam up and down her bare back and over her unfamiliar curves she had gained over the years.

"Jake," she whimpered in his ear, tightening her grip on his with her legs and pushing herself to the edge of the sink so that she could rub her bare, aching core over the hardness in his trousers in an attempt to relieve the ache, "I want you."

He groaned at her words as well as the delicious heat soaking through to his stiff cock, fuelling him further, thrusting hard he panted, "Yeah? Tell me, honey," he thrust again and moaned when her breath hitched in his ear, "Tell me what how you want it."

His grip on her hips tightened painfully and she whimpered a little, but continued, "I want you to fuck me, Jake."

And in that moment Jacob came undone. He didn't care that he had a girlfriend, or that she had a partner, not that he was wearing a purity ring, or that this wasn't the way he wanted this to happen - not even the fact that Leah was in the next room, innocently watching cartoons whilst her parents aggressively lusted over each other just one door away.

He didn't care about anything but himself and the woman spread before him.

He cared about his **need**.

And he wouldn't finish until that need was sated.

In some sort of drunken haze, Jacob had been all too familiar with in the past, he managed to pull his boxers down his ass just enough to free his hard, awaiting cock before spitting in his hand to lube the glistening head, grabbing Bella's parted thighs and pushing into her in one unmerciful stroke.

Bella cried out softly, her legs slipping from their hold as her nails bit into the flesh of his shoulders making him hiss under his breath. She had forgotten what it felt like to handle a man who was _hugely_ proportionate after all the years sleeping with Edward. There was nothing wrong with Edward - he was just _normal_. Jake was practically porno size and after going from that, to someone who was, well, _normal_, it had been hard for Bella to get to an orgasm the first few times round.

But this was just like having sex for the first time.

The wet slippery heat of Bella wrapped around Jacob's pulsing cock made him shudder in pleasure, roughly grabbing Bella's legs which had fallen from his waist, dangling limply by his thighs, he spread her further across the sink, pulling her to the edge which she precariously perched on and pulled out before slamming into her again.

Bella moaned at the sensation whilst whimpering at his roughness and leaned back away from him as he grappled her hips pounding into her, burying his face between her bouncing, flushed breasts as toiletries clattered in the sink behind them at the sheer force of which he was moving.

"Fuck!" He growled, moving harder and faster into her silky heat, loving the way she coated his cock like she used to. The sensation was unbearable. He had gone _five_ fucking years without this, and he wasn't about to do it again.

Bella could feel her legs slipping again, trying to close due to a throbbing pain coming from her inner thigh, she was sure it was a pulled muscle from when Jacob had pulled her legs apart so roughly. He thrust deeply again with a deep groan and the sharp movement made her hit her head against the mirror behind them. The throbbing in both her head and thigh were enough to realise she was hurting.

**He was hurting her.**

Now, as he furiously fucks her on the sink, sweat pouring down his body, she notices that he's not even looking at her - and he _always_ looked at her. Even when they used to fuck, he would watch he face - her reaction to him. He had his eyes squinted shut in obvious pleasure and when Bella caught him opening his eyes every now and then, he would only focus on her breasts or the sight of his slick dick ramming in and out of her limp body.

His tight grip on her hips bit at her flesh and she whimpered against his grunts.

"Jake, your hurting me."

Her weak, out of breath whisper couldn't be heard through his passion and Bella knew he couldn't help it. It's in his nature to be a passionate person. She thinks that maybe she can hold out and try to relish in what its worth, because she unconsciously still loves Jacob like she used to and after all she has put him through, feels that she really _does owe him at least this much_.

But with a painful flashback, Bella remembers the night in which they inevitably conceived Leah - their last night together.

And right now, he looks exactly like he did then.

And it makes her want to throw up.

"Jake," she whimpered again, her breath catching every time he pushes into her, "Stop. Please," she sobbed, her hands bracing themselves against the sink, "Stop!" He didn't listen, and it just made Bella realised how wrong she was about him.

He hadn't changed.

"Jacob, your hurting me!" She cried.

He froze. His hands still on her hips, finger indentations just to remind her how rough he was. Just like before. He was panting, his face flushed from exertion, sweat rolling down his bronze chest and onto her thighs which trembled around him.

He looked down at his hands and released her from his grip, his heart clenched when he saw the red marks he had left and he looked up at her, shamed and terrified of what he had done, only to see that her expression mirrored his own.

And it made him want to die inside.

He pulled away, slipping from her sore orifice and watched with horrified eyes as she shakily slipped from the sink and to her feet, her hands covering her breasts as she went to pick up the towel in trembling hands. Big, fat tears rolled down her face as she hastily wrapped it around herself without looking at him, and Jacob couldn't quite believe what he had done to her.

He was a monster.

**He had hurt her.**

"Bella," he stood behind her, "Please, baby, I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you- I, just, Bella. Please - honey? I'm sorry, I cant believe I could ever do that to you," his throat felt uncomfortably thick and tears welled in his eyes as he approached her from behind and touched the skin of her back.

She recoiled from his touch and he wanted to kill himself for what he had done to her.

Bella wiped away a stream of hot tears from her cheek with a shaky hand and turned as fast as she could on her bruised legs to get out of the bathroom as fast as she could, leaving Jake behind.

He let her go.

* * *

**Please review me your thoughts on what you think is gonna happen after (or what you think should happen, i'm up for any suggestions!) i love to hear what you have to say! :) **

** Love Rae x**


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